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Friday, February 06, 2004

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Well what do you know about this? A place to write where people can sit and read the thoughts that tumble around my head everyday. This could be fun!
Ok then. I left my husband a year and a half ago. Turned out I am pretty screwed up and am attracted to alcoholics. So my mom talks me into going to al anon at which point I think "Ya right mom". Well my life back then really could not have been more shitty so what harm could come from going? So I go. I cried the entire first meeting. Cried at every meeting for about a year actually. All these years of thinking I was a nut case and it is was just that I was raised in an alcoholic environment! I don't get to meetings as often as I should but this program has turned my life around. That brings me to today's story. As said I just seem to attract and be attracted to alcoholic (and abusive men). Ya know what? Never mind. I was going to tell about this wonderfully, fabulous man that I met that is not an alcoholic. (He has always been a non-drinker). He treats me so well and I think, well I think that I could fall in love with him. But I am not going to write it here because I am so afraid of jinxing it. Oh but man...I am so excited about this. Maybe all the recovery work that at times I thought would kill me, send me to the psych ward or break my heart is working. I have attracted and am attracted to a great guy. OK, I didn't just write all this because if I did I will jinx it and next week I will find out he is a convicted felon and running from the law or something equally as horrible.
Sad news...aforementioned great guy (K#vin) has to put his dog down today and my heart just aches for him. He just loves his dogs so much and we talked last night and he decided that her life was no longer a happy one so it was time. He has asked me to go with him. This is not going to be a great day.


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