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Thursday, March 18, 2004

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I was asleep. Woke up. Here I am again. 2:20 am. I think one of the reasons I don't sleep is anxiety. I have been feeling fairly stressed lately and I don't sleep because I lay there and worry instead.
Here is something interesting I saw on TV. As some of you know I just had cable installed about a month ago. I am considering getting it uninstalled again because there really isn't anything worth watching but that is not what I wanted to discuss. You have all likely seen this before but it is an infomercial for married people to find someone to have an affair with! I think it is for an online dating service. I am so out of the loop. I had never even heard such a thing. I will say it reinforces my desire to never get married again.
I am not against online dating. I met K#vin through Lavalife. I think it the best way to meet someone. I talked (on MSN) to a lot of creeps and was glad they didn't have my phone number. I e mailed several back and forth. Some made it to the phone call stage and some I even met. All together I think I corresponded with around 50 men. Out of those I met about 15. Some there was a connection with and some were downright scary. One man talked for an hour about how much he hated his ex wife and her boyfriend and how much he would kill them both if he could get away with it. Unresolved rage and anger issues. I think so. He divorced her 5 years ago. Strike him off the list. Next!
6:00 Meet for dinner and drinks at a local pub. He told me that he could feel how much I wanted to sleep with him. He couldn't have been more wrong. As soon as I laid eyes on him I knew I wasn't attracted. But no, apparently I wanted him bad! Date ended 7:15. Next!
Another experience was dating a guy that hadn't had s#x in some time. He was a nerd to the core but decent personality. 5 minutes after we met he was begging me to come back to his apartment and f**k him. Sorry creep. Next!
I did meet some nice ones. One was a Newfie and they are the nicest people on the planet.
And then, enter K#vin. I knew the night I met him that he was the one. I know this sounds really silly and flaky but I started falling in love with him that night. We had planned to meet for an hour or so because he needed to get up for work at 3:30 the next morning. We talked 2 hours over coffee then another hour in the parking lot. We went home and talked on MSN for another hour then we laid in bed and talked for another hour and a half on the phone.
With K#vin everything has been so different. We actually managed to not have s#x for 9 days. This was hard! The s#xual attraction was off the charts but I wanted to be sure that it wasn't just the s#x this time. Yeah, 9 days is not much in the big picture but I am a hormonal 33 year old. I think 9 days is very good! If he would have kept his hat on and his bald head covered I would have been able to wait a little longer but as soon as he took it off (at my request) I was done. He looked so amazingly hot. I sat across from him and made a fool of myself I was so turned on. He was blushing which was absolutely adorable. point ( I did have one) Online dating is a great way to meet people. K#vin lives 3 minutes from me but we likely would never have met if it wasn't for Lavalife.
I am going to get a peanut butter sandwich and attempt to sleep. G'night!
I am so tired. I am going to reread this in the morning and have no idea what the hell I was talking about.
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