It is that time of the month and I am in a cranky mood so today I bring you...
Things That Piss Me Off!
1. People that tailgate when I am already going 10 K over the speed limit.
2. The bitch that phones me about once a month to tell me I am in "sin" because I divorced my husband.
3. My carpet.
4. Having to use my arm to signal because my fucking signal is still not fixed.
5. My ex-sister-in-law. The gossipy scrag.
6. My son's teacher this year.
7. The mall.
8. Overdue charges at the library.
9. When I go to buy groceries and it says NSF on the interac machine.
10. The asshole that lives in my building that has nothing better to do all day but sit at his window and be the "strata police".
11. My ex-boyfriend. The fucking alcoholic, user shit face. He was so mean to me. I am more pissed off with myself for accepting his shit and not seeing that I deserved better sooner.
12. When my mother calls at 8:00 on a Saturday.
13. Phone bill, hydro bill and cable bill.
14. Pens that are dry.
15. Pencils that are broken.
16. Acne and wrinkles at the same time.
17. Mean people.
18. People that are greedy and will do whatever it takes to get ahead.
19. Cramps, gas, bloating fatigue and this generally pissed off mood!
20. My ex-husband.
21. People that are always late.
22. Paper. There is paper all over my place. Paper from phone bills to school notices. Send me a fucking e mail!
23. Bitchy sales people.
24. People that play their car stereos so load my windows vibrate. It hurts my ears asshole! I don't think you must have a big cock because your stereo is loud Mr. Compensatingforsomething.
25. Laundry.
26 Dirty dishes.
27. My broken dishwasher that will cost $50.00 to have someone just come and look at it. Fuck you asshole!
28. People that are always happy. Go to hell and take your smiley fucking face with you!
29. The cost of tampons.
30. My former dog.
31. The smell of rotting fish when I go for a walk at the beach.
32. Insurance companies that rip people off. To hell they are here to help people. They are not a public service! They are making a lot of money off of people's bad luck or they would not stay in business.
33. Being told the other day that I can no longer get ink for my printer. The printer is only 3 years old and the cartridge is discontinued.
34. The price of a Canucks jersey. ($85)
35. The cost of prescription glasses.
36. The bitch at my bank that never smiles.
37. Not finding a parking spot.
38. The mail-carrier that drives super fast.
39. The fact that my children can not play outside by themselves because there are so many fucking weirdos around.
40. Pedophiles.
41. Judges that let pedophiles with repeated offences out to do it again to another child.
42. The asshole step-fathers that molested two of my friends as teenagers.
43. Their mothers that stayed with them.
44. Dust.
45. Jerry Springer and his trashy show. (No I don't watch it but it is on every time I flip around the channels.)
46. Perfume samples in magazines that smell so bad my eyes hurt.
47. People that slow down almost to a stop while turning a corner.
48. The speed bump at the grocery store. It is so high my car bottoms out no matter how slow I go.
49. Public restrooms. I am a germ-o-phob and I hate having to touch things like the taps and door handles.
50. The fact that I am in such a bad mood that I came up with 50 things to be pissed off about. Fuck. I am going back to bed.
(I will add to this list as the day goes on. I know there are a lot more things that piss me off but I can't think of right now.)
51. When my son (bless his heart) pisses on the toilet seat and I sit in it.
52. The cat's litter box. (Query-Why is it called a litter of kittens and a litter box?)
53. No storage space for all my shit.
54. The cost of gas. (We were at 89.9 cents a litre last week)
55. The cost of milk.
56. People that count the items of groceries in express lines. So what if I have 12 items instead of 10! I am sorry it took an extra 5 seconds of you precious time for the cashier to run them through you loser.
57. The train engineer that blows its whistle all the way up the fucking track.
58. Spell checks that say I am spelling words like centre, litre and harbour wrong.
59. Math.
60. The millions of rocks that fall out of my kids shoes when they go to the playground. You know those tiny ones that are used under the swings and slides?
61. McDonald's for discontinuing their hot mustard sauce.
62. Recycling that falls all over the floor when I open a cupboard.
Things That Piss Me Off!
1. People that tailgate when I am already going 10 K over the speed limit.
2. The bitch that phones me about once a month to tell me I am in "sin" because I divorced my husband.
3. My carpet.
4. Having to use my arm to signal because my fucking signal is still not fixed.
5. My ex-sister-in-law. The gossipy scrag.
6. My son's teacher this year.
7. The mall.
8. Overdue charges at the library.
9. When I go to buy groceries and it says NSF on the interac machine.
10. The asshole that lives in my building that has nothing better to do all day but sit at his window and be the "strata police".
11. My ex-boyfriend. The fucking alcoholic, user shit face. He was so mean to me. I am more pissed off with myself for accepting his shit and not seeing that I deserved better sooner.
12. When my mother calls at 8:00 on a Saturday.
13. Phone bill, hydro bill and cable bill.
14. Pens that are dry.
15. Pencils that are broken.
16. Acne and wrinkles at the same time.
17. Mean people.
18. People that are greedy and will do whatever it takes to get ahead.
19. Cramps, gas, bloating fatigue and this generally pissed off mood!
20. My ex-husband.
21. People that are always late.
22. Paper. There is paper all over my place. Paper from phone bills to school notices. Send me a fucking e mail!
23. Bitchy sales people.
24. People that play their car stereos so load my windows vibrate. It hurts my ears asshole! I don't think you must have a big cock because your stereo is loud Mr. Compensatingforsomething.
25. Laundry.
26 Dirty dishes.
27. My broken dishwasher that will cost $50.00 to have someone just come and look at it. Fuck you asshole!
28. People that are always happy. Go to hell and take your smiley fucking face with you!
29. The cost of tampons.
30. My former dog.
31. The smell of rotting fish when I go for a walk at the beach.
32. Insurance companies that rip people off. To hell they are here to help people. They are not a public service! They are making a lot of money off of people's bad luck or they would not stay in business.
33. Being told the other day that I can no longer get ink for my printer. The printer is only 3 years old and the cartridge is discontinued.
34. The price of a Canucks jersey. ($85)
35. The cost of prescription glasses.
36. The bitch at my bank that never smiles.
37. Not finding a parking spot.
38. The mail-carrier that drives super fast.
39. The fact that my children can not play outside by themselves because there are so many fucking weirdos around.
40. Pedophiles.
41. Judges that let pedophiles with repeated offences out to do it again to another child.
42. The asshole step-fathers that molested two of my friends as teenagers.
43. Their mothers that stayed with them.
44. Dust.
45. Jerry Springer and his trashy show. (No I don't watch it but it is on every time I flip around the channels.)
46. Perfume samples in magazines that smell so bad my eyes hurt.
47. People that slow down almost to a stop while turning a corner.
48. The speed bump at the grocery store. It is so high my car bottoms out no matter how slow I go.
49. Public restrooms. I am a germ-o-phob and I hate having to touch things like the taps and door handles.
50. The fact that I am in such a bad mood that I came up with 50 things to be pissed off about. Fuck. I am going back to bed.
(I will add to this list as the day goes on. I know there are a lot more things that piss me off but I can't think of right now.)
51. When my son (bless his heart) pisses on the toilet seat and I sit in it.
52. The cat's litter box. (Query-Why is it called a litter of kittens and a litter box?)
53. No storage space for all my shit.
54. The cost of gas. (We were at 89.9 cents a litre last week)
55. The cost of milk.
56. People that count the items of groceries in express lines. So what if I have 12 items instead of 10! I am sorry it took an extra 5 seconds of you precious time for the cashier to run them through you loser.
57. The train engineer that blows its whistle all the way up the fucking track.
58. Spell checks that say I am spelling words like centre, litre and harbour wrong.
59. Math.
60. The millions of rocks that fall out of my kids shoes when they go to the playground. You know those tiny ones that are used under the swings and slides?
61. McDonald's for discontinuing their hot mustard sauce.
62. Recycling that falls all over the floor when I open a cupboard.
posted by BarbaraMG at Thursday, April 15, 2004
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