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Thursday, April 01, 2004

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Starting today the kids are home for Spring Break. Yahoo! I love it when they are here. I hear so many parents saying that they can't stand it but I just love having them here to hang out with. I am going to plan a bunch of mini day-trips over the next 2 weeks. We can also work on a bunch of crafts that they have been asking me to do with them, such as papier-mache snakes.
came over last night. I had been feeling very nauseated all afternoon and I was just not up to driving to his place. It is only a 3-minute drive but I could barely stand up. He came over and I was already in bed. He lay down with me and I fell asleep. Strangely enough, before I fell asleep I was getting all turned on having him beside me. How is it that one can be so sick she can't move but still be thinking about and wanting s#x? Maybe it is just me with my whole woman at 30 something and horny 24/7. I don't know. Anyway, we didn't have s#x because I fell asleep. I woke up several hours later and he was still here just watching TV.
Have I mentioned the last while how much I love him? Have I said that every time we are together I fall in love with him a little more? I have never had a man treat me as he does. All these little things like going to get me ginger ale and helping to build the Praying Mantis aquarium mean so much. I knew within a week of meeting hat he was the one for me. I knew I was going to marry him. I thought that sort of thing only happened in movies! He is at work right now and I miss him! I miss him as soon as he goes out the door. Sometimes when we are lying in bed and he looks at me I have to look away because the feelings I have for him are so intense. I have had that crazy feeling of thinking I was in love with men before. You know when you walk around and can think of nothing else but "him" and you feel so fantastic? I have that with but for the first time a deep feeling of contentment. He calls to say he is coming over and I don't run to the bathroom to put make-up on. I can be myself and he loves me with all my flaws. And trust me, there are a lot of them. The panic attack in the mall last week was tame to some of the things I do and think about. He knew from the beginning I was on anti-depressants, something I would never have told any of the other men I dated. He knows I have abandonment issues and my feelings get hurt easily over silly things. With all this he still loves me. We had a discussion the other day about why some relationships work and others don't and we talked about how it is easy to love the things that are lovable about a person. It comes down to the crunch when you can live with and still love your partner through their flaws, weaknesses and the aggravating things they do. If you can love someone through that I believe that is where the strength lies.
Anyway, Girl-N just woke up and wants to snuggle so I am off. Have a fantastic day everyone!
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