As I thought, I am not at all functioning. The world goes on around me and the pain inside hurts so much. I feel like shouting at the world. Doesn't anyone know that the most wonderful lady I have ever known just died? It has only been two days but it seems like an eternity. The pain gets deeper and more raw by the minute. Sleep is my only escape. I hate that feeling that comes over me when I am supposed to be functioning and I forget for a moment she is gone then it comes back and it flows over me like a sickness.
I wish I could have told her I loved her one more time. I wish I could have felt her arms around me; that comfort of knowing someone has loved me from the day I was born...likely loves me more than I love her. I want to feel again that feeling of total acceptance no matter how much I screw up. I want to hear her voice say one last time "I love you sweetie".