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Wednesday, May 19, 2004

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Chaos. Is it just me or do some people bring it on themselves and then beg for more?
I met a lady about a year and a half ago at a workshop. I had never spoken to her in my life and during the break she proceeds to tell me all these details about her life. It was a grief and loss workshop and she was there because her last boyfriend dumped her. She went on to tell me her current boyfriend is married and she can't understand why he wont commit to her. O.K...

I ran into her at the grocery store a few months later and she tells me how the boyfriend she was with broke up with her to go back to his wife (What a surprise.) She is telling me about her nervous breakdown and a whole bunch of stuff I didn't care to know. Hello? I don't know you lady! It isn't that I don't care but you are stepping way over the healthy boundaries mark!

Then two days ago there was a note in my kids school newsletter asking for a ride for a student. I go home that way so I called the number. Guess who? Shit! She starts up immediately telling me she is pregnant and she still is in love with the boyfriend that is married but she is with a new boyfriend! The old boyfriend wants to leave his wife for her and she doesn't understand why he wont actually do it. She blames everyone else for the crap going on in her life. For the love of god!

Meanwhile on the phone she is yelling at her son and telling me how annoying and what a pain in the ass he is. As a single mom I understand the frustration but saying things like that in front of your child is uncalled for! I think of it like this. If was on the phone talking to his dad and telling his dad I was annoying and a pain in the ass I would be devastated. Nobody deserves to hear this. As far as I am concerned keep your freaking trap shut! If you are frustrated call a friend while your kids are out or have gone to bed and then vent. We need to respect and honour everyone we meet but especially our children. Our job as parents is to ready them for a world that they will be confident and succeed in. It wont happen if they are being belittled and criticized.

Anyway, I have gone off my topic of inviting chaos. I wish I knew ahead of time that it was her child that needed the ride because I am inviting chaos into my own life. I have had enough of my own. Yes, I brought it on myself by bad decisions and poor judgment. The world I choose to live in now took a lot of (free) counseling, al anon and perseverance. It was damn hard! Thankfully the school year is almost over and I wont have to have her in my life for much longer. I wont be offering rides next year. I enjoy the serene and peaceful world I live in and I wont give it up for anything but especially the chaotic life of a near stranger.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sheesh. It sounds like this woman has a lot of difficulties.

Hang in there--the school year is almost over! Yay!

Retro Girl

7:44 a.m.  
Blogger Michele said...

Ack! I'll tell you, when I see people like that coming I RUN the other way. I don't blame you. Its pointless to have your own life fairly settled and peacful if the people in it are a bunch of nutcases.
Good luck with that!

8:17 a.m.  

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