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Tuesday, February 01, 2005

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I went to bed early this evening and awoke around 11:30 to Girl-N in my bed. She apparently was missing Nana (her Great-grandmother) and decided to come into bed with me.

I will tell you our family history on the family bed. When Boy-W was born I never allowed him to sleep with me. I nursed him in my bed but he went promptly back into his bassinet or crib. I was an advocate against the family bed.
When Girl-N was born she contracted RSV. She rushed to emergency 3 times because she couldn't breathe, before being admitted to the hospital. She was in an oxygen tent for a week before discharged from hospital. She continued with physiotherapy for 2 months. Everyday I had to take her up to the hospital and watched her scream while a physiotherapist pounded her wee chest. When I put her down at night she would start coughing. Sometimes it was this little tiny quiet choking sound. I would never have heard it in a different room. So in my bed she came. She was sick for a good year after and just never left the co-sleeping environment.

I do not know which way is right. I think every family situation is unique. I do know that while my son can be quiet and insecure my daughter is outgoing and confident. Does it have to do with sleeping arrangements? I am not sure. I just know I love the family bed and would never have it any different. (Boy-W thinks so too because he can be found many a night curled up beside me.)

What is your opinion of the family bed?

5 Comments:

Blogger David said...

A quick visit is okay if they ask. Otherwise the sanctity of the master bed is a necessity. But there are exceptions to that rule under the circumstances you mentioned. Loss is hard for little ones to understand and for some adults as well.

5:23 AM  
Blogger ddddddddddddddddddddd said...

Well, we did the same thing. (actually, after six months, both were being bottle fed, so I was the one who usually got up with them). But both went back into their own beds right away. However, once they were able to climb out of the crib or bed, if they had a bad dream in years 1, 2 and 3 then they'd come climb in beside me. (We all learned very early that you do NOT disturb the sleep of a mother bear) After year three though, they just call out for Dad and I go cuddle them in their bed even to this day.
When Hailey was first born, she had evening colic for the first three months, so from 7 pm to 11 pm, I'd walk with her, rocking her, singing to her quietly, talking to her, etc. This after getting up at 5 am to commute to D/T Vancouver from maple ridge and working as an electrician all day. That way SHE got a break from being a F/T mom. She went back to work after they were 6 months old though.

10:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When I was little, I was only allowed to crawl into bed with my parents if it was in the morning and I woke up before them. Night, I had to stay in my own bed, so what I wound up doing a lot, was crawling into bed with my older sister lol.
For parents, sometimes bedtime is the only alone time they can find. When I have kids I don't, under normal circumstances, plan to let them sleep in our bed. I've known of kids that still want to sleep with mommy and daddy when they are 11 or 12, I don't want my 11 year old kid in bed between me and my husband lol.

Jaded Angel

12:15 PM  
Blogger wanda said...

As a child I was never, ever allowed to climb into my mom and step-dads bed. My mom had a deathly fear of smothering a child because her own parents lost a child that way. She must have passed that fear along to me because when my own children were young, I rarely allowed them into the bed with us. If they came to me in the night, sick or afraid, I'd either go rock them back to sleep or get in the bed with them until they fell back to sleep. I can't remember ever falling asleep while in the bed with them.
Subconsciously this must have bothered my children because both my sons allow their kids to climb in the bed with them and my daughter has both our dogs in bed with her everynight.
I have no firm attitude one way or the other. I think you have to go with what works best for each individual child/parent.
Wanda ( Just Breathe )

3:22 PM  
Blogger thequeen said...

Some of my fondest memories are of climbing in bed with my parents in the mornings.

I have made sure that my kids will sleep in there own beds but I also have an open door policy,my door is always open to them.I often wake up with all three kids in my bed.Heck half the time when I go to get in my bed I will find one or more of my kids already there.I actually sleep better when they are there, and have even found myself going to them to see if they want to sleep in my bed..My kids know they are loved and wanted and so when I do have occaision to tell them no, they have no issues with staying in there own beds. I wouldn't have it any other way. I can't imagine them not feeling free to come in and be with me.Its a comfort thing for all of us I think.:)

11:11 PM  

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