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Tuesday, March 08, 2005

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The cat has issues with sleep and frankly it is getting a little irritating. Don't get me wrong. I totally love this beautiful creature.

But the sleep issue. Rotten. Terrible. Mean. Nasty. Horrible. He stalks me while I sleep. I am deep in dreamland when out nowhere a devil cat is darting across my head. Apparently I breathed and he felt it upon himself to rid the world of whatever dared move while he was guarding the manor. He also likes to stalk my feet. Heaven forbid I need to turn over. He drops from above (how he gets there I do not know) and pounces on my feet. His sharp teeth pierce through the blanket to my toes.

I know he has tried sucking my breath while I sleep but I catch him each time. I also once owned a
wonderful pillow that I was given as a gift after I got whiplash. Let's just say it isn't mine anymore. Angus needed it. He doesn't feel the bed is good enough for him. Oh no. Don't think of offering him an ordinary pillow from Wal-Mart.

The worst is the constant running he does at night. He has on his wee kitty bell and this is what I hear...


ding, ding, ding,, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, DING DING, DING, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding,,,

I can hear the bell getting quieter then louder as he rushes off the living room window, down the hall, by my bedroom, into the kids bedroom and back again full circle (claws out for extra grip and speed). I listen to this for hours. On the occasional run by I tell him to stop it. He doesn't listen. I think he may be ignoring me.

The topper, and I have discussed this before, is the litter box issue. I mean come on already! Take a dump. Flick a bit of litter over it and get out! But noooooooo! He gets in, does his business and spends forty-five minutes covering it up. I live in a small place so there really isn't a place to put the vile box where I can't hear it. Scratch,scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch! I yell at him to stop. All is quiet for about 1/2 a second then he continues.

Finally my frustration drives me from my bed. I pick up this nocturnal creature and put him in the bathroom and shut the door and crawl back into bed. All is quiet. Just as I doze off (he waits for this I know it) I hear merowwwwww, merowwwwwwwww, merowwwww. He is crying. I flick back the blankets ready to let him outside. (He is not an outside cat and never will be.) He looks up at me with his one green and one blue eye with a look of repentance on his whiskered face. I pick him up and take him to my bed. Usually it is around 5:00 am and he knows there is no way I will fall asleep at this hour. He curls up with that cat smirk and falls asleep. I reach over to pet him. He opens his eyes, glares at me and walks away to the corner of the bed and falls asleep.

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I call this photo "Cat Acrobats at 2 in Morning"

9 Comments:

Blogger Jezzy said...

Ha! That's funny. I wear a gold anklet with a bell and used to piss people off because I jingled as I walked.
I injected a drop of molten wax inside it to dampen the sound.

But I suppose you can't do that with a cat's bell, can you? lol

4:23 AM  
Blogger Thumb Monkey said...

Is he fixed? Sometimes that calms them down at night.

7:53 AM  
Blogger Ms. Q said...

That is so funny! Our cat wakes us up at 4:30 in the morning by knocking on the pantry door where his food is. It goes "thwap thwap thwap thwap..." on and on until one of us gets up and feeds him. We've tried everything we can think of but he still does it. Even if he isn't hungry and he just wants to play, he'll start knocking. I am sure our downstairs neighbors hate us by now.

The other thing is the litter box. Our cat has OCD for sure. He will spend forever covering his poo. It drives me crazy.

A funny thing he does is that he tries to cover my coffee when I'm holding it. I wonder if that means my coffee smells like cat pee or cat poo to him!

10:13 AM  
Blogger David said...

Ah the second blog I have read today about cats. They are such a pain. Why is it that women must have cats? Is it a gender thing?

These two in our house drive me crazy..........

10:48 AM  
Blogger cursingmama said...

Jack was the same way, he drove me NUTS! I finally had to ban the both of them from the bedroom, first they cried outside the door, but after a day or 7 the crying stopped. They now spend a good portion of the night parked right outside the door waiting for us to emerge.

12:08 PM  
Blogger Bumbling Bav said...

I love how the bell sounds.... good job!

1:36 PM  
Blogger deni said...

Cats are great aren't they? But they can be worse than kids sometimes, it's that attitude they have of being King or Queen of the castle.

We don't own them, they own us, we are their people.

4:17 PM  
Anonymous Jaded Angel said...

My cat used to have full run of the house, and she was never much of a problem. But then Kyle moved in, and he's allergic to cats, so I had to keep her out of the bedroom, and she would scratch, and not stop, if I locked her out of my room for 2 hours, she would scratch for 2 hours. After we moved we NEVER let her in our room though, so she only scratches at our door sometimes. It's annoying as hell though when she does lol

4:37 PM  
Blogger wanda said...

Who knew a cat could be so bedeviled? He sounds like a guy I once knew. Oh, wait, I still know him. I married him. No, he doesn't bite my toes, but he does seem to have antipathy for my sleeping. Even though he knows how hard it is for me to get to sleep, it seems like as soon as I doze off he will find a way to awaken me.
Cats & men!
Must be why I have dogs.
Speaking of dogs, any ideas how to get them to stop barking at the wind blowing?

9:49 PM  

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