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Saturday, May 21, 2005

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Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam...

As I was leaving work today I heard car horns honking and my first thought is why would anyone in their right mind want to get married. I have come to a point in my life where I seriously doubt that true love exists. I joke about finding a man but in all seriousness I am not even interested in even dating. I am not so bitter as to believe that all men are assholes. On the contrary. I like men. I just don't see the benefit of having one in my life right now. I can do almost anything on my own that may require a man. I can change my own oil and brakes on my car. I can shoo a spider outside and fix a leaky faucet.

Maybe I am bitter. I don't know. I just feel a tremendous amount of relief since Kevin and I broke up. I have more time to spend with my kids and more time to spend with my mom and dad. My house work is all caught up. I am not feeling any of the pressure that I was feeling when I was dating.

At 34 I have finally arrived at a point in my life where I am very content to be single but now I am wondering if there is something wrong with me. Seems I am damned if I do and damned if I don't.

8 Comments:

Anonymous Curtis said...

Well I'm glad you at least like some of us. We ain't all bad you know. You know neither Ellen or I were interested or looking for anyone when we tripped over each other. I'm tellin' you things just seem to have a way of happening. If it's meant to be then it will. Lots of time yet so enjoy life, do your thing. Nuttin' wrong with that.

6:11 PM  
Anonymous Jaded Angel said...

Who knows, you might meet someone next month that you want to try having a relationship with, or you might be happy to be single and raising your children for the next ten years, THEN meet someone... I think that someone we feel like we're supposed to be with someone or at least want to be with someone. Pressure from family and friends to find someone etc.

Who knows though, maybe you're supposed to focus on current family now, and not meant to meet a guy you want to be with until after you kids are older. Nobody ever knows what's going to happen.

7:10 PM  
Anonymous Phyllis said...

Angus is a pretty cat! I have been wanting a pure white cat with blue eyes, but I always end up with pound kitties. They make the best pets.

7:25 PM  
Blogger David said...

Being married and totally unhappy, I wonder why anyone would want to be married as well. There are all kinds of loneliness. You can be with someone 24 hours and never be with them at all. At least you have your kids to love and enjoy. Treasure them. Not all men are bad. Love will hit you in the face when you least expect it. It will find you, you do not need to go searching for it.

4:09 AM  
Blogger amy said...

well....i will be 38 soon and have been alone for the past 7. i have only had abusive relationships so i am holding out and hoping someone out there won't be abusive and i can experience a little of what love feels like. cuz i don't know. i joke about being single and the joys of it but frankly it's sooooo lonely and depressing to continually going to events alone and see all my friends married. not sure if they are happily married but they are with someone.

10:05 AM  
Blogger Ms. Q said...

Nothing wrong with you at all. Being on your own is highly underrated. The other commenters are right on. There are all kinds of loneliness. There are also relationships that are platonic that can be as fulfilling as romantic partnerships, be it friends, family or otherwise. Embrace life as it is and the things you want and need do come in their own time.

9:22 PM  
Blogger Natasha said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

3:39 PM  
Blogger Neel said...

I posted this great reply the other day, but for some reason it didnt take. I said something like...

You know what's really nice? A nice MLT a mutton, lettuce and tomato, where the mutton is really lean and the tomatoes are really ripe.

We tend to find people when we are not looking for them.

oh besides, its not true love its to blathe.....

tee hee

7:35 PM  

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