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Thursday, June 16, 2005

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On Buying A Bra
I actually went and had myself fitted for a bra last week. While walking down the mall in search of stamps I saw the s#xy lingerie store. So I went in. Working in the store were 2 or 3 teenagers who have not yet experienced the force of gravity. Nor had they nursed two children.
Let me digress. At one point my girls were perky. They were fun! I nursed my son for 13 months and my daughter for 2.5 years. After that I lost 60 pounds. After that the girls just gave up. I was quite annoyed that they didn't even try to remain something of their former self.
So I am standing their in the shop and a salesgirl asked me if I needed help. Skip ahead to the dressing room. Salesgirl has about 80 bras for me to try on. After trying on a few dozen bras she said, "Lady, I am sorry but their is no bra in the world that is going to help those sorry excuse for tits." Ok, those weren't her exact words but I could tell by the look on her face. It was time to bring out the heavy artillery. Underwire. With formed cups. I put it on and the girls fell into them. Like jello being dumped into a bowl. The underwire holding hard and fast. I decided to wear this one out. And never take it off again. Ever.
On Too Much Excitement for One Day!
I went to the mailbox today and guess what was there? Hold on to your hats because I, yes I am now a member of the National Geographic Society! Just so you can see for yourself here is my certificate only given to members! Included in my membership is a magazine subscription! I only had to pay $33.00. I am just so much better than everyone now!
30 minutes on the mini trampoline.


Blogger wanda said...

I can remember the first time I 'tried on' a bra. The saleslady told me to put it on OVER my shirt. She said it would make the bra fit better. I thought she was crazy. But it turned out, that bra fit me better than any bra I've ever owned.
My girls aren't perky like they used to be either. Of course neither am I, so I can't hardly hold it against them, can I?

10:12 a.m.  
Blogger deni said...

I nursed my kids too, yep, and my girls deflated like a balloon. They like to hide out under my arms, it's really hard to put a bra on when you can't find them.

1:21 p.m.  
Blogger thequeen said...

my girls literally point to the floor. I have "long boobies" as my lovely daughter pointed out gleefully to me one day. I told her it was her fault, she did it, and when she was 18 I was suing her and her sisters for damages.. yeah she laughed at me.. she has no idea how serious I am;)

2:32 p.m.  
Blogger Bumbling Bav said...

I love what the queen wrote! LOL!

Girl the underwire/formed bras are the only way to go now. But you may go through more bras just keeping the puppies up and at it!

3:56 p.m.  
Blogger Vickie said...

My perky days are long gone too. I guess my destiny is in the hardware bra. It's the ticket...

4:07 p.m.  
Blogger David said...

Yes I have this problem every time I go bra shopping.

6:53 p.m.  
Blogger amy said...

i've never nursed or given birth but i know the struggles of buying bras ugh. i hate it.

8:41 p.m.  
Anonymous Erin said...

I almost cried the last time I went bra shopping. When the DDD didn't fit and the girl told me that I was going to have to go to the specialty shop across town....

9:12 p.m.  

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