On Buying A Bra

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I actually went and had myself fitted for a bra last week. While walking down the mall in search of stamps I saw the s#xy lingerie store. So I went in. Working in the store were 2 or 3 teenagers who have not yet experienced the force of gravity. Nor had they nursed two children.

Let me digress. At one point my girls were perky. They were fun! I nursed my son for 13 months and my daughter for 2.5 years. After that I lost 60 pounds. After that the girls just gave up. I was quite annoyed that they didn't even try to remain something of their former self.

So I am standing their in the shop and a salesgirl asked me if I needed help. Skip ahead to the dressing room. Salesgirl has about 80 bras for me to try on. After trying on a few dozen bras she said, "Lady, I am sorry but their is no bra in the world that is going to help those sorry excuse for tits." Ok, those weren't her exact words but I could tell by the look on her face. It was time to bring out the heavy artillery. Underwire. With formed cups. I put it on and the girls fell into them. Like jello being dumped into a bowl. The underwire holding hard and fast. I decided to wear this one out. And never take it off again. Ever.

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On Too Much Excitement for One Day!

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I went to the mailbox today and guess what was there? Hold on to your hats because I, yes I am now a member of the National Geographic Society! Just so you can see for yourself here is my certificate only given to members! Included in my membership is a magazine subscription! I only had to pay $33.00. I am just so much better than everyone now!

30 minutes on the mini trampoline.