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Thursday, August 04, 2005

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On Living With Poor Life Choices
I won't go into great detail on the choices I made but let me just say that the reason I had been away led me to making a wrong decision. Not the end of the world stuff where I am left unable to function but more just left feeling really sad...and lonely. And I saw it coming. Yes, it involved a man. How did you ever guess? But my lack of thinking the situation out has taught me a lot about myself the last month or so. And the good thing about poor life choices is they lead me closer to that woman I know is inside of me. She has already broken free in so many areas but there is a still part of her that is "needy". It is a most unattractive quality isn't it? Then again where do needy and the need to love and be loved collide? Let's face it. I want to meet my soulmate; my best friend. I want to feel loved and show it too. I don't want what the movies have but I certainly know I want what Jezzy and Curtis & Ellen have. We are not talking romantic sunbursts but true love and commitment. Too much to ask? I think not. In fact I know it is not!
Tell me what you think. Are you jaded and believe it is all bullshit? Are you romantic to the core and believe that you are going to be swept off your feet? ( I also believe that one day I am going to sweep him, that unknown stranger, off his feet!) I know I am mostly jaded but there is a small corner that is in my heart that believes it will happen one day.


Blogger Jezzy said...

Oh Barbara - my hubby is sweet as candy and my best buddy, but he's
*not* what I'd describe as a "soulmate". I think my life decisions were practical ones - I saw him as someone who was gentle, loving and kind and who would be a committed husband and father.

Sometimes I think I'd have had an entirely more passionate and amazing love life with the wrong type of man, but that's *not* what would make me feel stable in the long term.

I totally relate to and understand what you're saying here. But I have to say I'm a little jaded about "romance" myself - and I was *never* swept off my feet - I just recognised someone who would treat me well and love me and who I'd feel comfortable with.

9:39 p.m.  
Blogger Jezzy said...

...and btw - there's nothing wrong with being needy! I understand that one too!

9:43 p.m.  
Blogger KT said...

Ditto and ditto on Jezzy's comments!

4:52 a.m.  
Blogger Bella said...

When I met Bello, I had just gotten out of a relationship with a Turkish gentleman whom I dated for almost two years. I promised myself, when we broke up, that I was going to be alone for a while. I didn't give myself a deadline, I just knew I wanted to be alone. That commitment lasted a whole three months. Some commitment to myself.

I met Bello, resisted and then gave in. He didn't go after me either. I was the one who told him that I was head over heels in love with him and that I felt I couldn't be without him. I melted his heart and we have been together ever since; five years, though it feels like forever. :)

Just breathe.

9:59 a.m.  
Blogger mizkittay said...

I'm a believer Barb ... 100%. I had to wait an awfully long time before I found him, but he was so worth the wait.

I know you'll find yours too. :-)

12:08 p.m.  
Blogger Ms. Q said...

Brace yourself for my epic comment!

I am a hardcore romantic. I belive in love at first sight. I believe that there can be more than one person who is a perfect match for you but I also believe in fate, destiny, and all that other crap!

Here is how I see it. The universe is filled with energy which we are a part of and all that energy forms a sort of quilt, if you will. We are like the patches on a patchwork quilt. The people most closely connected to us are our "soul mates". Other people are close to us but not directly connected, if that makes any sense. Still others are so far away that we feel only the teensiest bit of connection or perhaps, none at all.

My soulmate, best friend, etc., is a guy that I met a long time ago. We lived parallel lives and stayed the closest of friends the whole time. I felt like I knew him and loved him from the moment I first saw him. Magic. Anyway, at some point, we figured out that we belonged together and the rest as they say is history. I think we've got it all. Romantic love, companionate love, agape, all of it. True love and committment. Unconditional love and acceptance. That's hard but not impossible, believe me!

That doesn't mean everyone finds it in this life. But I think life is what you make it. It's out there and there is a man who is looking for you. And you will sweep him off his feet. I believe that.

Does that answer your question? I think if you're romantic by nature, then you are and you shouldn't settle for anything less.

Also, to be 'needy' is to be human and it can be attractive in the right manifestation. I need my husband, and it makes him happy to be needed (and vice versa). Desperate or demanding, not so attractive. I think you know what the difference is.

That's all. Don't give up. Love comes in many forms. When you least expect it.

1:10 p.m.  
Blogger thequeen said...

I'm standing beside ya on this one.

2:21 p.m.  
Blogger Vickie said...

I am one of those hopeful romantics and there's nothing wrong with being one.

Hang in there, sweetie. We all make bad decisions from time to time - and as long as we learn something, it's worth the lesson. Even if it's a hard lesson.

We get smarter and we move on.

What you're looking for is out there. I believe that. Just be true to yourself foremost.


2:37 p.m.  
Blogger deni said...

I think I am in between the two, it's possibly to be swept off your feet, but then love needs to be maintained after all the sweeping occurs. I also believe that love grows stronger and into new dimensions as time goes on if it is worked on.

3:29 p.m.  
Blogger Bumbling Bav said...

I hear this from all my single gal pals... you are so, so not alone.

You will find your fit.... but for now all you can see is what is infront of you. When you look at the stars you see them... but what about what is past that. You know there are planets and such. We just cant see far enough... and one day you will have this partner and then you will be(now here goes the valley girl) like wow... I never saw that coming.


7:48 p.m.  
Blogger Colleen said...

I have definetly been waiting a long time and still my prince charming has yet to make an apperance. I think finding the person you are comforable with and sometimes that person has faults.Just be patinet and I know you have heard this before.. He will come..

5:28 p.m.  
Blogger Natasha said...

OMG me too! I agree w/ jezzzy. Romance is so hard. On a lighter note i saw this weightloss challange on neel's blog where he is going to help us lose weight. i think im gonna try it. maybe you should and see if you can get that ticker on your front page moving a little faster! best wishes to you!

3:44 a.m.  
Blogger Erin said...

I wouldn't describe my romance so much as being swept off my feet, as I would having the rug pulled out from under me. Everything happened so fast, and he was a type of guy I would have never pictured myself with, and it was under circumstances I swore I would never get into again.
In my opinion, there should be a nice mix of romance and practicality. Romance without practicality will eventually lead to problems, and Practicality without any romance just plain sucks.

9:13 a.m.  

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