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Wednesday, September 14, 2005

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A few weeks back I met a girl that came into my office needing hospital equipment because her mom was palliative. Upon further conversation I learned that her mom had Ovarian Cancer. Her mom was the same age as my mom and she was just a few years younger than I. She was noticeably pregnant. I spoke with her for a long time and learned that she was expecting her first baby in November and her mom was not expecting to make it long enough to see her first and only grandchild. She left the store and I went into an upstairs office and wept for her and her mom. I have been praying ever since that God would extend her life by 6 weeks so she could share the experience of her first baby with her mom. I found out yesterday that her mom passed away September 9th.
My heart hurts for this young woman that is going through the most amazing experience and her mom is gone.
My mom was there to show me how to bath my son. She was there when I was so tired that I couldn't even get up to get myself some juice. She was there to make me supper, do my laundry and clean my house while I shuffled around in sweats the first several weeks as a new mom.
More importantly she has been here while I learned the most amazing love a person can experience, the love of a parent. I learned how much she loves me.
I try not to question God. But I do. This mother and daughter were obviously very close and I know she needs her mom. It won't be the same thing when well meaning aunts or her mother in-law come by to lend a hand after she gives birth in November. She needs her mom!
It causes me to see how very thankful I am to have my mom. It also causes me to see how desperately scared of losing her I am. The statistics for Ovarian Cancer are not good. I still feel like that little girl that got lost in Sears when I was 4. Life without my mom close by frightens me. I still feel like I am 4 not 34!
I am trying not to jump ahead. She may be in the 15% that beats this insidious disease. I hope and I pray that she will be around until she is 90 and driving me crazy wanting me to take her to lunch and calling me and forgetting the reason for she called. I want her to grow old with my dad because they are still crazy in love with each other!
Anyway, that is all. Needed to write.


Blogger Phyllis said...

That made me cry!
I don't have my mom, she died at 69. Much too young! She gave up, and her depression won out! Enjoy every minute you have your parents! I am glad my mom died as fast as she did. She had a mastectomy and 10 days later she died of a bleeding duodonal ulcer! I thank the Lord she didn't suffer! I miss her.

9:49 p.m.  
Blogger deni said...

That is so sad. I tell people all the time, appreciate your parents you dont know how long you will have them.

My mom was diagnosed with stomach cancer when she was 48, within a year despite treatments, it mestastisized throughout her body. She passed away when she was 49. I still miss her all these years later.

This young woman came into your life for a reason.

I will pray for her. And for your mom.

6:28 a.m.  
Blogger lamberrymer said...

what a touching entry - wow i just can't imagine what she is going through.

8:16 a.m.  
Blogger thequeen said...

Your mom will always be there even if she passes into the other side.
I pray for your mom all the time. I trully hope that she does get to expierience what it is like to be 90 and annoying as heck!! And I pray that you get to be driven crazy by her. Love is an amazing thing isn't it. May the lord bless and keep you.

9:37 a.m.  
Blogger wanda said...

There are so many milestones in our lives that we want and need to share with our parents. Sometimes that simply isn't meant to be.
I had four children, not once was my mom ever there. I either lived to far away or she had something else going on. In fact when my first son was born the only person there for me was a good friend.
It was during those times that I came to realize that often our friends are the family we 'choose'. Which in many ways makes them all the more special.

9:54 p.m.  
Blogger Erin said...

Oh no! You're not supposed to make me cry, I shouldn't have read that at work.

My parents are older, my mom was almost 40 when she had me, I'm always so afraid that my parents will be gone before I get around to having children.
I am lucky that both my parents are in good health, but even so, sometimes the thought that one day they will be gone hits me and it fills me with such a sense of fear.

8:37 a.m.  
Blogger jill said...

that really was beautiful... i have my parents - and although i love them - i hold them to unfair expectations - and have to come to some sort of peace - so that when it is there time - i can let them go - as opposed to guilt and resentment. it's something that is a work in progress... posts like yours remind me - to keep at it - thanks!

9:16 a.m.  
Blogger Colleen said...

What a very touching post. I too know the power of a moms love. If it werent for my mom I dont' know how I could have gotten thru the last few years of my life. Everyone else bailed on me but mom sayed.

10:15 a.m.  

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