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Monday, September 12, 2005

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It is amazing the things that can happen in a short amount of time. Take Nice Guy at Party guy. There would have been a time when I overlooked the drug use and made excuses for him. A good co-dependent girl does that. I was that girl. I have made excuses for boyfriends draining my bank account to obtain alcohol. I have made excuses for boyfriends passing out in my bed. I have made excuses for the abuse and the neglect. I have spent hours upon hours crying when he didn't call or ditched me while we were out.
So what has changed? The start for me was Al Anon. I discovered that it is not only the alcoholic that needs treatment. I spent hundreds of hours in church basements and rec. centres telling my story but more importantly hearing the stories of others. I learned that my crazy behavior described above was not "normal" but typical of a co-dependent touched by alcohol.
Am I disappointed that Nice Guy at Party turned out to be a druggie? Yes. Very much so. We really hit it off and in all other aspects he really is a nice guy. But I won't compromise again. I deserve more and I deserve better.
If you have read this post and it has struck a cord, you can find an Al Anon group in your area by going here.


Blogger Jezzy said...

I'm proud of you, Barbara. You deserve more than that. x

6:33 p.m.  
Blogger wanda said...

Barb! I don't know why you can't comment on my blog. That is so strange. I was wondering why you had quit visiting me. Thought maybe it was because of the subject matter (politics ect).
I too am proud of and for you! Isn't it a good feeling knowing that you deserved better than shabby treatment by selfish, little boys playing at being men?
Keep up the positive attitude.

12:01 a.m.  
Blogger Colleen said...

So happy you found my blog. I now know that someone out there has had the same crappy experiences with men that I have. Altho none of my ex's were druggies or addicted to alcohol they were abusive in their own ways. I had a coupld drain my bank account and I delt with emotional stress. I have now realized that I need to take care of me.

4:47 a.m.  
Blogger deni said...

My ex is an alcoholic, it took me a long time to see that I deserved better just as you do.

I look at it as a sign of maturity and self confidence.

You will find a good man, I am sure. And as 'nice' as that man may be, you are better off without him.

5:27 a.m.  
Blogger KT said...


7:08 a.m.  
Blogger Adrienne said...

AMEN SISTAH! Good for you!

3:38 p.m.  
Blogger MomOf2 said...

phew! thank God you escaped that one!

5:17 p.m.  
Blogger Ms. Q said...

I am so behind! I am very proud of you and the excellent choices you are making!

You definitely deserve the best.

4:43 p.m.  

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