It is amazing the things that can happen in a short amount of time. Take Nice Guy at Party guy. There would have been a time when I overlooked the drug use and made excuses for him. A good co-dependent girl does that. I was that girl. I have made excuses for boyfriends draining my bank account to obtain alcohol. I have made excuses for boyfriends passing out in my bed. I have made excuses for the abuse and the neglect. I have spent hours upon hours crying when he didn't call or ditched me while we were out.
So what has changed? The start for me was Al Anon. I discovered that it is not only the alcoholic that needs treatment. I spent hundreds of hours in church basements and rec. centres telling my story but more importantly hearing the stories of others. I learned that my crazy behavior described above was not "normal" but typical of a co-dependent touched by alcohol.
Am I disappointed that Nice Guy at Party turned out to be a druggie? Yes. Very much so. We really hit it off and in all other aspects he really is a nice guy. But I won't compromise again. I deserve more and I deserve better.
If you have read this post and it has struck a cord, you can find an Al Anon group in your area by going here.