I have been thinking about this upcoming promotion at work and I have decided something. I don't actually want it! I know it sounds crazy because I have been working my ass off and a promotion is what most people work for. This is not the direction I thought my life would go. I am the farthest thing from a 'career' woman. I went to college to become a nurse and now I work in an office. I had always pictured myself as being married and my income being the secondary income. Now I am the only income and raising two children on my own. I had always seen my life with a partner. I grew up where everything was done by both my mom and my dad. It was all 50/50. Now everything is done by me. I had pictured my life differently. I feel like I walk around in a fog. I am so very, very tired all the time. I never get a break. So do you understand why I don't want this promotion? It isn't me. I want to put my time and energy into my children and not into someone else's company. It is frustrating to have so few choices about what happens in my own life. Alright. I will stop whining. It will all be ok. I get a week of holidays on another month and a half. I just need a break.

~