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Tuesday, December 20, 2005

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Update on a more serious note
I am reading so many of your entries from the last few days and I feel sad that many of you are experiencing grief and feeling overwelmed. It is normal to feel this way this time of the year but for most of you it extends beyond the rush of Christmas. I go to comment on your blog but all my words sound so trite.
Why is it that we are feeling this way? Over the last few days I find myself sobbing from my very soul. It has been a hard year. I thought I was going to lose my mother this year and the threat will likely be there for a long time. I don't know how I will go on if she dies. How am I going to get up in the morning? Get dressed? Eat? Go to work? How will I ever survive without my beautiful mother. My hero, protector, encourager and best friend. So I find myself sobbing when I know I should be grateful but for some reason I am just scared.
It is beyond the blues for many of us. I read the words you have typed and I try to comment, try to encourage and I can't do it. I want to say it will get better but I don't know that it will.
So if you are hurting this year know that you are not alone. God is always there and is only a whisper, a thought away. Allow this time to bring you closer to Him. Allow yourself to be still in His presence.
Hilary reminded me of this even though I have it on my profile...
"Fear not, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord."Luke 2:10-11
Is someone able to tell me what happened to the 19th? For some reason I thought today was the 19th but now I realize it is the 20th!
I am working on getting my house back in shape. It is so messy! I am needing to follow a daily 'to do' list because it is going to take a couple of weeks to get it back into shape. I really hate housework.
My kids have invented a word and I have no idea what it means. Abubada. They say it mostly when they don't agree on things.
The first thing that comes to mind when I see this picture is every light in the house is on. Do you know how much electricity costs? I am becoming my mother. {sigh}


Blogger Bella said...

LOL! I think you think too much. ;)

Abudadamahuedha??? What the heck does that mean.

I could never put my house in order. I'd never find anything...

11:58 a.m.  
Blogger Rachel said...

I need to do housework too. No fun. Sigh. Been putting it off. Bigger sigh.

I love the picture but I agree that every light is on! Such a waste of electricity! (Reminds me of my Dad, "Who left this light on?!"

12:29 p.m.  
Blogger Catherine said...

That's what happens when your on vacation! The days go by much quicker than if you were at work!

12:53 p.m.  
Blogger Colleen said...

LOL I invited my new guy over for the evening not long ago and it happend to be when my mom was in the hospital and the girls had gone to bed, so I guess I was feeling a little lonley and So I had almost every light going when he came up the road. He walked in the door and said man I could never miss this place and im sure glad I dont have to pay the electric bill.

1:02 p.m.  
Blogger deni said...

It's scary when we start seeing our mother's in oruselves isn't it? ROTF, you ain't the only one, that's for sure.

4:23 p.m.  
Blogger ddddddddddddddddddddd said...

Oh, I so see my mom in me and I'm a guy. So I guess that's how much influence they really have on us.

Now about that electric bill, gotta switch over to those little twisty fluorescent bulbs and it won't matter quite so much. LOL

Wasn't the 19th the day of the squish? Ouch?

Abudaba, isn't that from one of the cartoons on Saturday morning?

4:26 p.m.  
Blogger Ms. Q said...

Thanks, Barbara. Just thanks for your kind words. I don't know why so many people are so unhappy, but I think it has a lot to do with the material aspects of the holidays.

I love the Charlie Brown special where Linus says "Fear not, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy..." . That makes me feel good.

5:45 p.m.  
Blogger happyandblue2 said...

This time of year is just stressful. There is lots of good stuff going on but it's easy to feel overwhelmed.
Hope your Christmas is a good one..

7:23 p.m.  
Blogger J.J. said...

Thank you Barbara. Your words have such special meaning to me. I ask myself the same questions everyday and can't find the ways to answer them. It's an unimaginable grief.

You did just remind me of my favourite verses, and it made me smile.

Merry Christmas!

8:38 a.m.  
Blogger wanda said...

You know when I wrote that post about feeling weary and overwhelmed, I worried that in doing so I might be spreading my own special kind of holiday blah's. I hate the idea of infecting others with my seasonal depression.
This time of year is meant to be a time of joy and celebration. A time to spend with family and friends. A time to remember all that was sacrificed for us and all that has been given to us. A time to be thankful for having survived another year and having had that year with the ones we love.
I remember many years of feeling happy and gay. Of parties and celebrations. It hasn't always been a season of discontent for me. There have been many happy Christmas's.
I think 'bella' may have it right when she says, "you think too much". Because maybe I do. Maybe I spend too much time thinking and pondering the state of our world and all the negativity I see around me. I worry too much about things over which I have no control. It is one thing to have sympathy (understanding)for those less fortunate, it's another to let it lead to empathy (vicariously experiencing the feelings).
Maybe we both could try to just let go of our pain and enjoy the season for what it is.
I'm sending my thoughts of love and my best wishes your way.

3:27 p.m.  
Blogger Laura said...

All the lights are on but no one seems to be worried about the cost of a bulb or the electricity used. Those pictures are warm and welcoming. I always like them. You just know that family have the Christmas spirit. Whatever else is going on with them and around them, they have made one night to be happy or at least in good spirits.

3:50 p.m.  
Blogger deni said...

Barbara, losing my mother was the hardest thing I ever lived through, but somehow you get up the next day, you cry, you brush your teeth, you cry some more, you take a shower, you cry in the shower, and your whole day is like that. The next day, you repeat it, until one day, you realize that you didn't cry half as much, oh, the hurt is still there, my mom has been gone a long time, and yeah, I still miss her, I still cry, but I know she is in a better place, she is no longer in pain, and she has found peace and joy beyond words. That is what comforts me, and some day I will see her again.

Enjoy having your mother while you still do, mine died too young, she was only 49. Think about today and don't worry about tomorrow.

5:45 p.m.  

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