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Sunday, January 01, 2006

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Norbert's Pechant for Milk
I am such a party animal. I had the ultimate New Year's Bash and...stayed home. I didn't do a thing. Well, I did make my tasty chicken wings and forced myself to stay up until midnight but other than that I didn't do anything more exciting than the laundry.
I have come to the conclusion that I need to get my ass back to Al Anon. I realized over Christmas that I am still reacting in ways that are not healthy. I had an alcoholic parent and I was not given the proper tools to deal with my life. ( Let me stress that I am not blamimg my parent. He did his best and I love him very, very much. He could not give me the right tools to deal with life because he didn't have them for himself.) I have learned a lot of healthier ways of coping and dealing with people through Al Anon but I have so far to go. I had stopped going to meetings because they all start at 8:00 and my kids go to bed at 8:00. Fortunately, I have found a meeting that meets in the afternoon on my day off.
I am going back to work on Wednesday and I am trying to be grateful for a job that I enjoy and a really nice group of co-workers but I am just not ready to go back. I will take my holidays over Christmas again next year but it is by no means a restful holiday. I don't want to go back. I feel like crying.


Anonymous Lujza said...

Ouch! This post sounds like a "slap across the head for me"...I didn't realize that we shared this...similarity.

12:05 a.m.  
Blogger oopseedaisee said...

Aww poor Barbera...
Its never easy to get back to the grind stone after some time off. I am glad you have been able to identify that you need to get back to AA. Whatever it takes to keep on track and sane!! LOL.
How do you know when you are an alcoholic? or just a heavy drinker?

12:09 a.m.  
Blogger happyandblue2 said...

Quiet New Years celebrations are the best kind.
Glad you found an Al Anon group that fits your schedule. Al Anon has helped a lot of people.
All the best to you in 2006..

7:46 a.m.  
Anonymous mariami said...

Hi Barbara,

I just want to thank you for the book you recommended. I read that, and it made me wonder if any guy has EVER been that Into me! :)

it was informative. the more i try not to hate men, the worst it gets. do u know any good books for this subject?

happy new year by the way.

and thanx for reading my blog.

9:52 a.m.  
Blogger ddddddddddddddddddddd said...

Barbara, glad that you found a group that meets your needs.

Sorry to hear that you had a not very restful holiday, you were so excited about having the time off before you left work.

Have a good week and don't cry, it's going to be a good year.

10:53 a.m.  
Blogger ldjay said...

Don't cry, 2006 will be a great year for you Barbara.

I know sometimes crying seems the best option, and sometimes it can be very theraputic. If you feel like it, cry, but then realize you feel better. I've tried it, and it works.

Glad you found a meeting that works for you.

All will be well!

1:08 p.m.  
Blogger lamberrymer said...

i go back to work on tuesday and it makes me want to cry too.. why oh why can't we get 5-6 weeks vacation like those europeans.. sigh. so not fair.

2:54 p.m.  
Blogger Adrienne said...

((hugs)) Go have a good cry and then just keep plugging along. You'll be fine.

If I lived by you, I'd come over and help you cry.

3:28 p.m.  
Blogger Richard said...

I always feel like crying whenever I have to go back to work. Long periods off work (like vacations) only make it worse.

There is something special about the Christmas season that always makes me want to quit my job just spend time with the kids. Then reality sets in and I know I can't do it at this point without seriously jeopardizing income and lifestyle.

Hey! Don't feel bad about being such a party animal. I think I managed to crawl into bed about 23:45 - although the wife insisted on staying up to herald in the new year.

I don't think anybody grew up with the tools and skills needed to deal with life. Our parents just didn't know enough. Just as we don't know enough for our kids - who will be going for therapy and complaining how we left them all messed up ;-)

One thing we need to remember is that not one of us had parents who got up in the morning and said "So what can we do today to screw up Richard so he needs to pay for expensive therapy when he gets older?"

The trick is in trying to surround ourselves with decent and supportive people (which is a suprisingly difficult thing to do).

As long as you can maintain a positive attitude and keep your soul unburdened, life isn't really that hard.

I think 2006 can be a good year and I hope it will be a great year for you!

5:01 p.m.  
Blogger Catherine said...

I went to an Al Anon meeting once. Knowing that it was the right place for me to be. I cried the entire meeting and never went back. It was too painful. Again, I watch you in awe as you accomplish things that I only wish I was strong enough to do in my own life. On the other note, work...I'm setting my alarm for 5:30 and it all starts again tomorrow morning. Yuck! We all feel this way about work, and I love my job too. Just being feels so much better though. Hugs to you!

5:18 p.m.  
Blogger Phyllis said...

Happy New Year!
I feel like crying too, I can't believe I have to go back to work tomorrow! I want to go to bed for a week!!

6:39 p.m.  
Blogger wanda said...

Norbert and his milk. Looks like he's enjoying himself.

I too had an alcoholic parent. Well step-parent. And a Mother who was co-dependent. For years I felt guilty because I couldn't say they did their best.... Finally after years of therapy I realized I didn't have to feel guilty for being unable to say those words. They did not do their best. He was a drunk and she continued to live with him despite the fact that he was abusive (in more ways than one), cruel, and irresponsible. My brothers and I grew up living in fear of Friday nights because we knew the weekend binge was coming on. I came to realize I did not have to 'forgive' either of them, but I did have to stop allowing their failures to become my own. It wasn't until I was able to turn and walk away that I was able to put the past to rest. I could not change the past but I could change how it affected my present and my future.
As for feeling like crying about going back to work, just try to think of this way. What if your home life was so awful that you actually WANTED to get back to work. Now that would suck!!

10:13 p.m.  
Blogger J.J. said...

It's my resolution to "work" on my issues with the alcholic parent. I'm proud of you because you're doing better than I am....but maybe I'll look for a meeting too.

Chin up.

3:46 p.m.  

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