Do you know what today is? It is my 2 year blogging anniversary ! Here is a part of my first post...

"Well what do you know about this? A place to write where people can sit and read the thoughts that tumble around my head everyday. This could be fun! Ok then. I left my husband a year and a half ago. Turned out I am pretty screwed up and am attracted to alcoholics. So my mom talks me into going to al anon at which point I think "Ya right mom". Well my life back then really could not have been more shitty so what harm could come from going? So I go. I cried the entire first meeting. Cried at every meeting for about a year actually. All these years of thinking I was a nut case and it is was just that I was raised in an alcoholic environment! I don't get to meetings as often as I should but this program has turned my life around."


It seems things have come around full-circle and I am needing to get back to Al Anon again. I feel I really haven't grown much since I stopped going. Being a unhealthy co-dependent is a slippery slope and I have fallen back. My self-esteem has slid down that slippery slope and with that comes depression.
Life can throw you curve balls when you don't expect them.
So much has happened in two years. These last two years have been made up of mostly sad memories. Would I change them if I could? I want my Nana back but not if it meant pain and suffering for her. Would I change my mom's cancer diagnosis? That is a hard one. I think she is glad for it because it changed her so much. But that is her story to tell. For me it brought on the fear that I will one day lose my mom to death. That said, her battle with cancer brought us closer than ever. So bitter sweet.

Two years. I am hoping the next two years brings happy memories. I will get back to Al Anon because my recovery depends on it.

To all of you that have been with me for the full two years and to all the rest of you I thank you for your words of wisdom, compassion, humour and unconditional support.