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Monday, March 13, 2006

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Recovery. I have been in this state for almost 4 years and I have again realized that I fell away at some point. I am not sure when it happened. I suppose it was when I thought I no longer needed Al Anon. (Al Anon is if you have been affected by someone's drinking.) I thought I had it all figured out and was able to go out on my own. Things went well for a while but I am now back at Step 1.

"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable."
I feel the same way I did four years ago. I am in the middle of an 8-lane highway and traffic is going by so fast on either side. I want to get out but I can't. I am terrified and overwhelmed. Most of all I am exhausted.
I look at my life and wonder why I choose to live by the same screwed up ways and always make the same wrong and unhealthy choices.

Seriously. I need help. Step 2
"Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity".


Anonymous Lujza said...


11:45 p.m.  
Blogger Catherine said...

Wow! They say a picture is worth a 1000 words and that is so true about that picture you posted. You know where I've been lately, I'm clearly still working on step #1, and that picture is an exact representation of the way my head feels. I know what you are going through is hard so please let me know if I can do anything to help!

10:23 a.m.  
Blogger Bumbling Bav said...

Fight for yourself! Give it the fight of your life...

3:18 p.m.  
Blogger ldjay said...

Boy haven't I felt like that before! Let it work for you ... Ask God to sit with you and listen to what He has to say ... He will give you what you need. Praying for you
Big Hug *( )*

3:44 p.m.  
Blogger oopseedaisee said...

I admire your courage Barb.
Although I havent experienced this personally, I have family who have, and I understand your battles. Just remember you are worth it.

7:31 p.m.  
Blogger thequeen said...

You are so strong Barbara, you don't give yourself enough credit though. You will get through this.
Love to you!:)

10:05 a.m.  
Blogger kelly said...

I attended a few Al-Anon meetings a long time ago, in college. I could never get past the first step, so I quit going. Now would be a good time for me to re-evaluate. I'm older now, and wiser, and could use a little support in my journey.

Good luck to you!

12:45 p.m.  
Blogger Colleen said...

Courage and stay strong...

12:57 p.m.  
Blogger Keri said...

You've been through a hell of a lot the past couple of years, Barb. Head back to the meetings. Work the program. Hang in there and know that you have friends praying for you. Much love coming your way. Smooches!

4:39 p.m.  
Anonymous Margaret said...

(((big hugs)))
Did you think Al Anon was effective and worth turning to when you needed help? Human beings are social creatures and need community and the support of others, especially those others that have had like experiences. People who make it through difficult times are certainly strong on their own, but it's also quite likely that they reached out for support--to friends and family and to groups who gather together to help each other. Please remember that you don't have to face your life and issues all alone. (((more big hugs)))

9:33 a.m.  
Blogger Randy G. said...

The good news is: you ARE still in recovery!! Life is a journey, Barbara. And each journey begins with a single step.....we admitted we were powerless..... We didn't FEEL it Barb. We admit it each day. keep coming back!! It DOES work!! And Barbara? Give yourself a break, huh?

9:59 p.m.  

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