Recovery. I have been in this state for almost 4 years and I have again realized that I fell away at some point. I am not sure when it happened. I suppose it was when I thought I no longer needed Al Anon. (Al Anon is if you have been affected by someone's drinking.) I thought I had it all figured out and was able to go out on my own. Things went well for a while but I am now back at Step 1.
"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable."
I feel the same way I did four years ago. I am in the middle of an 8-lane highway and traffic is going by so fast on either side. I want to get out but I can't. I am terrified and overwhelmed. Most of all I am exhausted.
I look at my life and wonder why I choose to live by the same screwed up ways and always make the same wrong and unhealthy choices.
Seriously. I need help. Step 2
"Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity".