I don't know what is wrong with me. I wish I could just be happy. I am told by everyone that happiness is a choice but I just seem to go further into depression. I feel like I have so much against me. My mom is terminal. I am broke and at a job that I hate. My daughter's future is uncertain. I am tired all the time because something is wrong with my heart but I don't know what it is yet. Quite honestly, if it wasn't for my kids I would not want to go on. I cry all the time. I am tired of hurting. I used to be such a positive person and so happy. But now I wake up each day and have nothing to look forward to.
I try to come up with positive posts so I am not such a drag all the time but I can't seem to come up with much.
I miss my mom because I can't go visit her while she is getting chemo. Each day I wake up and wait again to go to bed. Sleep is my only escape right now.
I just want all this pain to be over and to smile again.