I have to close this blog and create a new one. I will give you my new site addy. Just e mail me at bibitty@gmail.com

I feel like the last week or so has been leading up to how I feel today. I am so depressed and I don't know why. I have been so teary today. I hate that feeling! Usually if I can figure out why I am down I feel al little better. Everything just feels wrong. I am convinced is tired of me. I keep asking myself "Why wouldn't he be?". I feel that it is inevitable and he will dump me. It is my first day off and he decided to go home and clean. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that something is amiss.
The kids are going to their dad's tonight. I have only seen them for less than an hour each day this week. I hate that! Their goof of a father doesn't work and should take them during the day when I am at work so I can see them at night!
I have also been missing my Nana so much. It was three months yesterday. I thought these things got better but I miss her more now than I did when she died. Will this pain ever go away? It hurts more now than it did then.
I guess I will go back to my bedroom and lie down. I hate having my kids see me cry.

Do any of you remember these?! I bought one for Girl-N. She wanted to knit a blanket for bed before going to sleep tonight. "It might take a little longer than that", I told her. A mat then? I didn't have the heart to tell her she likely wouldn't even see the first 10 cm. tonight! Well I was wrong. She pulled it off the knobby things to see her progress. Attempt number 2 begins tomorrow morning.
I remember being 6 and thinking things like I was going to knit an entire blanket for my bed. Very least a world's record on the longest knitting knobby chain! Did any one ever make something beyond a potholder? I did make a snake. Just glue on some eyes and voila! My mom thought they were masterpieces and made Christmas decorations out of them. They still sit on the tree all these years later.
I don't know how far Girl-N will take this hobby. I would love a new knitting knobby blanket. If not, a Christmas snake for my tree would be just knifty!

I need a new blog look. Something fresh. This one sucks.

Would it be wrong to quit my job to pursue a unpaid full-time career in blogging? Writing blogs. Reading blogs. Commenting on blogs. All day. Everyday.

Just a ho-hum kinda day. It was considerably cooler today and for that I am so happy! I coloured my hair. I decided to go closer to my natural colour so went from my usual Nice and Easy 106A to 116A. I bet you are all just thrilled that I shared that with you!
I am thinking about trying the South Beach Diet. I am really against diets because I think it is a set up for failure. Our North American society preaches thin is better. It shouts at women. Even Oprah, who is so pro-women's empowerment has her magazine full or anorexic/bulimic women. The hypocrisy makes me angry! But I digress; I think diets are shoved at us to lose weight when our intentions should be on health. I am well within my BMI but want to try to eat a more balanced diet. It isn't completely eliminating carbs like in the Adtkin's diet. I believe we all need fruits and grains in abundance. The South Beach has a balance. Anyway, I wont be starting for about a week. Will see how it goes. If anyone has tried this diet please let me know. I am interested in successes and failures!

B.C. Day Long Weekend

It should have been a nice weekend away but...

We were supposed to leave after I got off work on Saturday but forgot to get the key to my mom and dad's cabin. We left instead around 6:30. It is a 3 hour drive plus stopping for groceries so it was dark when we got to our destination. We drove right past it and ended up very , very lost. We ended up driving down an old logging road. It reminded me of that awful horror movie "Wrong Turn". (Don't see it. I had nightmares for 3 months after I saw it.)
We finally found the correct turn-off and drove 18 k. down another logging road only to find out the gate closed at 9:00. We had to walk around in the pitch black looking for the right cabin. Did I mention this area is heavily populated with black bears? Finally found the cabin. My mom had taken all the bedding home with her on the last trip; no sheets. Finally found 4 blankets to use between the 4 of us. Went right to bed. Slept most of Sunday because I was so tired from driving. got heat exhaustion and slept all evening. We couldn't get the water to work. The port-a-potty was full and we had to use a bucket too pee in. Had to use the most filthy outhouse I had ever seen to shit in. Shit on the seat. Charming.
Glad to leave but strangely enough I wish I was back there because now n is at home and the kids are at their dad's. I am all lonely and bored and have P.M.S.
I will show these pictures because it was so beautiful where we went. There are often grey whales and killer whales. The beach is mostly sand and you can make the best sandcastles!