I went to the heart specialist today and did the treadmill test and sure enough, as I suspected something is amiss. He doesn't know what it is exactly yet but my heart is accelerating like that if an 80 year old. He assured me that it isn't heart disease or anything really serious but it does need to be investigated further. I have the holter monitor on right now and there are sure a lot of wires! I think I have a sensitivity to the glue as well because the places they are placed feel hot.

I guess it is wrong of me, but I have not told my mom and dad about this because the last thing my mom needs is this stress. She is going for another round of chemo tomorrow (my birthday) so I don't want to cause her worry. I must say it is a little tough going through this without any support.

Today I bought one of these. It is called a Rebounder or a mini trampoline. It cost almost $300.00 but place I bought it from has allowed me to make payments on it until it is paid for with no interest. I was so grateful!

So far I have lost 13 pounds! I have only been counting calories so far making sure I get lots of fruits & veggies and whole grains as well as drinking lots of water. I have been eating All-Bran and Brown Rice! Oh, yes I have! And I have been enjoy it too! I really haven't felt deprived at all. Last week I had fish & chips but I had the seniors portion. This week all the staff at work had chicken and fries. I chose chicken with a side salad & raspberry vinaigrette dressing (a total of 60 calories compared to 500 calories for a small fries!). I am so proud of myself. I am hoping the rebounder will make the weight come off faster but more important I am hoping to get in shape. If you have been frustrated with diets in the past I highly recommend SparkPeople. (It is free!)

Well, well, well. Just when you think you have done all the medically embarrassing things that can be done they throw another into the picture, Having two children was nothing really. I can't say I minded strange men looking at my private girl and make assumptions about her. "Oh yeah, that baby will fit through there!". My body is my NOT a garage and this sure isn't your sports cars and you had better find a way to get this baby out and GeT Me A DaMn EPidURal WhiLE YOu"re AT it Or I will RIp off YouR ArMS ofF! (at this point my head spins in continuous revolutions until an get epidural)

No this way nothing like that but It was the description of it. Because of this ongoing tachycardia I am going through several dozen tests. The one I am speaking about has a clinical name but I will call it "Pissing in a big orange jug for 24 hours". And get this, the doctor thought I could just do it while at work! Sure. Shared staff bathroom. Large Orange Jug between the toilet and wall. Or worse, leaving at the end of the day and carrying the thing out sloshing. There are just some things I will not do. And if you knew the men I work with! They would probably think it was a new urinal and use it! So I will be waiting for my day off and staying home that day. I am not carrying that Goliath anywhere. Worst case scenario. It is a little too heavy and I drop it. KeRRRRplloosh! Urine everywhere, There are some things you just can't explain away.

I try very, very hard to remain positive but some days (weeks) it is so much harder than others. My job is discouraging me beyond words. I have come to hate my job. Yes. Hate. It is a pretty strong word but that is how I feel right now. It has been three years of working hard, going above and beyond the call of duty and still having nothing to show for it. Last week I was told that I was passed up on a promotion. Why? Because I am female. Yup. I was told by the owner of the company that because of the type of business it is they want to promote men. According to statistics men have higher sales. Even though I have the highest inside sales they are hiring a man to do the job.

I have been crying off and on for over a week now. I am angry, sad and very frustrated that I have been told for three years that when my time comes they will promote me. It was all lies. The General Manager has told me she wants to but the owner doesn't. So it ends there. I am staying until April to receive my bonus then I am leaving. I won't be giving two weeks notice. I won't even give them a day. I intend to give them my resignation on a Friday afternoon and walk out the door. I am not normally a spiteful person but I really don't think they deserve any better.

Ahhh. I love Sunday. It is 2:00. I am still in my robe. It is so nice to just do whatever I want! Today I washed the floors and cleaned the garbage can out. I am thinking about going to bed to read a book and just maybe fall asleep.

I am feeling quite content today. I feel like a cat. I just want to curl up and purr. I have so much going on but I look at the state of the world and I know I don't have things too bad. My kids are healthy and happy. I have people in my life that love me. I have food in my cupboard and clean water to drink. I am happy being single. (really!) And I have nice new 100 percent cotton jersey knit sheets (tee shirt sheets) on my bed. I am off to curl up.

So I am back. I forgot to say in my last post that I have been blogging for three years. (I despise the word blogiversary for some reason.) Three years of writing. I look back and most of the time I wonder this. What the hell was I thinking? I mean seriously. I am supposed to be grown up but I continue to make stupid and immature decisions.
I was going to write an enlightening post but I am too tired. All I have to ask is this. Do women still wear slips? You know what I mean. A slip. That stupid thing you wear under a dress that always "slips"down and everyone can see it. Then everyone tells your slip is showing. I am sure proper ladies like the Queen wear one but what about everyday women? I think I have one that I wore to my grandmother's funeral. Yeah. That is all you are getting from me tonight.

Well I am back. I decided that if the ex-boyfriend decides to stop by I will tell him to stop reading or I may let his wife know that he looked me up within a week of marrying her. So there!
Lots has been happening. I think I had already let you all know my mom's cancer is back and she is going through chemo. This time though we were told that this round will not get rid of all the cancer. I am not really dealing with this all that well. Just sad a lot of the time and I try not to think about it. Most of the time I just feel overwhelmed and sad. I hate that I have no control over any of this but this monster has me on the palm of it's hand and is waiting to destroy me. I know, this is not about me but there is one relationship where we are always the child. I am trying to be strong for my mom but I am doing a terrible job of it so I just stay away. I know, she doesn't need that either but I can't deal with this. I don't know how. There is no manual in how to watch your mom die 101.
Work has been lousy. Nuff said. I am waiting for my bonus in April then will see from there. I think it is time to move on.
Kids are doing well. The Girl won fourth place in Highland dancing this weekend. I was SO proud! She looked so beautiful up on the stage. So poised. So confident.
The boy is doing well too. He is in acting classes and having a lot of fun. He is also finally taking an interest in school.
I have been losing weight by using this website. It is going well and so far I have lost 10 pounds. I want to lose 22 more by June. I highly recommend Sparkpeople. The first two weeks are just an introductory to their site and can be quite confusing but once I go the hang of it it was easy.
Cats are good but still HATE each other and I am wondering if they will ever get along. I think they are doing it on purpose just to drive me crazy. I bet they are all snuggles and cuddles with each other when I am out.
That is all for now. I am glad to be back. Writing is always good for the soul.
Will get all the links and sidebar stuff put up later.
(Kevin I would advise you to stop coming to my site..unless you think your wife would be ok with it!)
I love you all and have missed you!