It is hard to keep a straight face when two sisters are looking at urinals for their dad and one sister says to the other, "I don't know if it will fit".

I started to giggle and realized what I was doing and bit my lip. Fortunately, they both saw the humour in the statement and started laughing too. What she was meaning is she didn't know if he would be able to use it since his stroke but it didn't come out that way.

How to Find an AWOL Hamster in 3, 938 Steps and Clean and Organize Your Entire House in the Process.

Yesterday morning I woke up and did what I do every Sunday morning. I got out of bed, put on my robe and slippers and went and sat down at the computer. Within 2 minutes The Girl informed me that the hamster was missing. I don't know how exactly he knows it is Sunday but almost every Sunday he is missing. Weird. Usually I find him behind the couch or under the stove in the drawer. He always brings a huge mouthful of food along and dumps it in the drawer and plays amongst the pots and pans. Lately he is making a stop at the cat dish and hoarding that into his wee mouth and dropping it in the over drawer too. He is always happy to see me and is easy to catch.

Until yesterday. I searched. And I searched. I searched everywhere! I pulled out every piece of furniture and looked in every nook and cranny. I searched for hours! I was convinced he has either escaped into the building or That Cat ate him whole.

By the time 5:30 rolled around I was still in my pyjamas and needed to go to the grocery store. I called off the search and we got our shoes on.

And there he was. Sitting happy as can be in the bottom of my shoe bin. I think he smiled at me because he looked very pleased with himself. (He did!) I noticed that he chewed my best pair of black velvet pumps but the kids were so overjoyed at seeing him I only got a little teeny bit mad. After all, it is a hamster. Talking it out or punishing only makes them rebel more.

At the end of the day I had a giant box and a large bag for charity. I had 2 large bags of garbage and a large load of recycling. I cleaned out the shoe closet, pulled out and washed all the pots and pans under the stove and washed the drawer. I reorganized my living room and made some space for The Girl's dollhouse. I almost thanked the little thing but I don't want it to go to his head.

Murphy's Plumbing Law- When something has been done wrong to begin with.... anything done to try and correct it... will only serve to make matters worse.

Anyway...

Last night one of the cats scratched me and this afternoon I went to put some antibiotic cream on it. I swear Murphy follows me around. I took the cap off the tube and life went into slow motion...

The cap slipped from my fingers and fell to the sink, bounced and in that moment I hoped it would not go in. It bounced again and I knew it was not looking good. I made a grab for it and it rolled halfway around the sink and I just missed it as it went down the hole. Down, down, down. I got a knife from the kitchen and tried to scoop it out but only proceeded to force it down the hole. Did that stop me! Nooo! I tried again and forced it further down. With my mouth set in a determined line I once more tried to retrieve it. It disappeared.

~sigh~

I pulled out almost everything from under the sink and started twisting pipes. I got one loose but the other wouldn't budge. I got out my trusty toolbox and dug out the wrench and turned thinking "righty tighty, lefty loosey". I finally got it loose and water poured everywhere. Gross! Brown hairy water was everywhere! (Gag) And the cap. The reason for all this trouble. I soaked it in Hydrogen Peroxide and washed my hands. Then I covered the cat scratches with the antibiotic cream.

This is how I feel tonight. I am so tired! I came home and sat down and haven't moved. Some days I don't like being a single mom working full time. I admit I am envious of moms that get to stay home. I work because I have to, not by choice. When I get home I have as many meals to make, notices to sign and homework as a stay at home mom. All the laundry, dusting, vacuuming and cleaning doesn't get done until I get home. I am jealous of the stay at home moms chatting in the school parking lot over coffee in the morning when I drop off the kids and go off to work. I am resentful when stay at home parents don't understand why I don't volunteer at the school. The fact is I would love to be volunteering!

My kids get me at my worst time of the day. When I see them after work I am too tired to even sit down for a meal most nights. I am always running around doing laundry, cleaning the house and preparing for the next day. (And trust me when I say that I let a lot of housework go just so I can spend time with my kids.)

I do get the kids to help. At 8 & 10 they make their lunches for school, get their clothes out for the next day, empty the dishwasher, sweep the floors and do other household chores. Some days I feel like I am not letting them have a childhood by making them work.

I don't like envy and jealousy. They are ugly characteristics. I will feel better in a day or two. But right now I don't have a solution for my problem.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I just realized something. First I felt horrified then I felt awful! Laura, my dear sweet blogging friend, I apologize for not having you in my blog roll! It was a total oversight on my part because I already have a This is Me. I thought I added you long ago! I love you and I am so sorry if I have hurt your feelings. I have now added you to the top of my blog roll and there you shall remain forever. Know that you are one of my most favourite blogging friends. (((hugs)))

Haiku

The kids are fighting.
The cats are fighting also.
I am going nuts

First, I want to say thank you to everyone for your comments on my last post. I love you all, my blogging friends. Your words have encouraged to tell you a little about my story and recovery. Will be writing more over the few weeks.

Over here I have been sick like dog. I have been in bed for 4 days! Here is the sucky part. I took 2 days off at the end of the long weekend to make a total of 5 days. I haven't take time off since I started there 2 1/2 years ago. WHAT? Why do I get sick when I finally do take time off? I want to cry because I really needed this time off to figure some things out. All I can do is attribute it to being totally stressed at my job and my body crashed. Anyway, I am back tomorrow and I am nowhere closer to making decisions. I am very frustrated and trying to look at the blessing in this.

In other news... (This is good news!)

We got a new cat!

I have been wanting one for months and had gone to the SPCA several times but nothing clicked. We finally found our kitty on Friday. She is an older girl of 8. She is an itty bitty thing that loves to cuddle and be petted and she comes when she called. It took a few days to name her but we finally decided on Isabelle. Norbert (the evil cat at the top of my blog) likes her but she doesn't want anything to do with him. There has been no fights yet but a lot of hissing and growling. I am sure they are going to be best friends. Here are some pictures from her 7 month stay at the SPCA. (Nobody wants an older cat apparently.) We all adore her and she adores us. Isn't she lovely?

I will let you in on a little secret. It is not one that I am ashamed of but it is one I rarely discuss. I suffer from Depression. And it really sucks sometimes. I have felt feelings of depression since I was young but it wasn't given a name until I was older. I hate the term "Depression". I feel even as I write this I am being judged. I feel like someone is going to tell me to "snap out of it" or to "give my worries over to god". Those judgements hurt.

Anyway, Depression is something I have learned to live with. Most days are good. Some days are great! Some days are horrible. One thing that helps me through the rougher days is my "Joy Box". It is a little tiny suitcase that belonged to my grandmother. It is full of pictures, poems, letters and greeting cards. When I am having a particularly sad day I open it up and spend some time looking through it and I don't feel as sad. Inside are reminders that I am loved and that tomorrow is a new day.

I haven't told many people that know me personally about my "Joy Box". Most people that know me personally don't know about the Depression. I just thought it was time I shared it here. I am going to print out this picture of the little foal and put it in my box. He makes me smile. :)

Listen

with the night falling we are saying thank you

we are stopping on the bridges to bow from the railings

we are running out of the glass rooms

with our mouths full of food to look at the sky

and say thank you

we are standing by the water thanking it

standing by the windows looking out in our directions

back from a series of hospitals back from a mugging

after funerals we are saying thank you after the news of the dead

whether or not we knew them we are saying thank you

over telephones we are saying thank you

in doorways and in the backs of cars and in elevators

remembering wars and the police at the door

and the beatings on stairs we are saying thank you

in the banks we are saying thank you

in the faces of the officials and the rich

and of all who will never change

we go on saying thank you thank you

with the animals dying around us

taking our feelings we are saying thank you

with the forests falling faster than the minutes

of our lives we are saying thank you

with the words going out like cells of a brain

with the cities growing over us

we are saying thank you faster and faster

with nobody listening we are saying thank you

thank you we are saying and waving

dark though it is

W.S. Merwin, Thanks

I love Thanksgiving. It is my favourite holiday by far. It is a time where God gives me a little shake and gratefulness comes out of my soul.

We live in a prosperous country. My children are well nourished and are immunized against deadly diseases. I have a roof over my head and every night I sleep in a warm bed.

My children and I have never seen war. I have access to medical care. I am prosperous. (A computer. A TV. A car. A telephone. A DVD player. A Cell phone. A Cell phone! I have a bath every night in gallons of fresh water. The list goes on.)

As I sit here with my tummy full of food I say Thank You.

Have you ever sent and e mail to someone in error? I have. I have sent people e mail telling them news that was not related to them in the least. Have you ever received and e mail that wasn't supposed to be for you? I have. One was an invite to a 25th Grad Reunion. The ones I have sent and received were no big deal. I just e mailed the sender/receiver and set things right.

Until today. I received an e mail that was not meant for me to see. It was from a long time friend of my mom's. I have known this lady my whole life. This woman and her husband separated a few years back and she has had a few boyfriends. That is where this e mail comes in. The e mail was to her boyfriend and about...pl//$ur'ng herself with a shower head because the batteries were low in her v//brt0r. I was horrified! The entire e mail was one short paragraph. Don't get me wrong. We are all se+uaI beings and I know we all do it! I just didn't expect to know the details of my mom's friend doing that. I don't think she has realized her mistake yet.

I deleted the e mail but I feel very weird about the whole thing.

How would you deal with something like this?

(Please excuse the weirdly typed words. This is the way to keep weirdos away!)

For My Women Readers
I was going to write about how much it sucks having my period. (Yeah, yeah. Too much info. It's my blog. Get over it.) Anyway, as always I was going to post a picture and this is what I found when I did a search under "period cramps". WTF? Could I hate this woman anymore? I think not. What is that falling from the sky? Why is she lifting her hands in such a joyous response? Could she be any thinner? Where is the bloating and pimples? Why is she is a such good mood. Why oh why is she wearing white pants?
This is picture is how I look at this time of the month and I would like to snap Happy Woman in two.
(One last thing. Is it just me or are Happy Woman's hand enormous?)